Taking Marital Advice from a Single Woman?

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I recently came across a Facebook post about marriage. You know, one of those facebook posts giving all sorts of helpful encouraging tips for the attitude to use to approach your marriage. I really liked the post. However, there was one tip that it gave regarding your marriage that I’d like to discuss here, that you should not take marital advice from single people, as “the advice they give can only be theoretical.”

If anyone has been reading this blog for a very long time, then they will know that this idea is one of the things that makes me most hesitant about writing this blog: the fact that I am single. For a long time I have asked myself how a single woman who has never been married can sit around advising other people on how to conduct their marriages. To be candid, I have always thought that this blog shares powerful ideas. But, just as it says in that Facebook post, I have always been worried that it could all just be an expression of “theory”. Until now. You know what? It was actually on reading the idea expressed in black and white in that post that I finally decided for myself to stop allowing my singleness to get in the way of the ideas I like to share on this blog. So yes, here it is, I am completely single. And yet I believe that even in that God has blessed me with understanding and anointing for thinking about relationships. I sincerely believe that because it is from God, what I share is indeed valuable even for people who are married, but especially for people who are not married.

In this post I hope to share the reasons why I believe this.

Firstly, I should clarify that even with my new-found confidence, I still know that much of what I share will still be theory. I do not by any means know everything. I do know that even with thinking about these ideas so deeply for so many years now, even with reading as much as I do, and listening as hard as I can, there will still be big, big surprises in store for me in marriage – even shocks. I am so sure that some things will make me so amazed that I just will not know the first thing about how to go about addressing them or dealing with them.

I hope that I will never lose sight of that.

Something else I am sure of is that, even with my biggest efforts, before marriage I will not be able to fully appreciate or predict the dynamics of living with someone else for a long length of time.

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Please stay tuned for tomorrow’s article: Happy 5th Birthday to Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie
Yesterday’s article: Passionately in Friendship

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