Love is Sincerely Not About the Other Person!

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Let me firstly apologise for not blogging here for a few weeks. I’ve been otherwise occupied! During that time, my mind has been busy mulling over a number of thoughts. However I’d like to take some time to let these thoughts settle in my mind before presenting them – and perhaps it would also be wise to actually remember what they were! I do remember that there were very profound and/or funny!

The thoughts I am going to present here only just occurred to me very recently, as in yesterday. It is not as if they came to me as a profound revelation, as many of my thoughts do come. Rather, I sat working these thoughts out in my own mind. However, what I’m going to express here is an answer to some questions that I have asking myself and tussling with in my mind for some months now. (I note even as I am writing this that I have been asking these questions of myself, rather than God. Hmm – can that be good?!)

I remember that in practically every Christian discourse on relationships, that I have ever attended or listened to, or read, from every flavour of Christian denomination to which I might reasonably expose myself: Pentecostal, Evangelical, Baptist, Methodist, Anglican, Presbyterian – some of these overlap, and perhaps there are a few others that I cannot think of right now; the same message has always been preached: “Love is not about you, love is about the other person!” When people say this, they are 100% right. I am not writing this post to disagree with people – for a change! However, I am going to phrase my post so that it sounds as if it contradicts this statement, by saying: “Love is not about the other person – love is 100% about you!”
Now this might sound as if I am contradicting what other people say, but I hope that you will see as I write it that it does not contradict at all what other people say, but is actually in total agreement. I hope as I write it you will also see why I find it more valuable to phrase it this way.

When people talk about love, when someone has found someone else whom they decide to marry, for instance, the impression that tends to be given, is that “There is something so phenomenally special about this person that has provoked in me a desire, a wish, a longing to love them with all my effort, my commitment, my passion, my faithfulness, forever.”

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