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Video Intros Subblog: In Hot Pursuit
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This post is a development of ideas I have expressed before. However I first thought of it in this light last night when I was just pondering to myself late at night. However I am in quite an interesting state today as I actually type out these words. On one hand I am full of these positive thoughts of well being and joy and beautiful things. On the other hand, I have just read a post about how to maximise your life “before you’re 30”. The one part that really struck me is the part where the author insists on the need to hustle. He makes a point about the need to hustle for the sake of getting a great relationship and also a great job/career. As I was reading it, I was forced to ask myself: in my life, have I hustled hard enough? Have I really pushed myself and put myself out there in terms of finding a great husband, (sorry, I of course mean being found by a great husband!), or have I let myself be content with sitting behind this screen, pouring out these thoughts, instead of going out there, and enthusiastically pounding the streets like everyone else?! So I am little confused as to whether I should write that post just now! I really need to explore these thoughts for myself, to ask myself hard questions, and to honestly examine my life. However, I suspect that I will end up justifying myself, that I have done the best I reasonably could have done given my limitations, including the limitations of my understanding.
That is why I pursue understanding about relationships so aggressively on this blog; so that I can direct my resources, including my very precious resource of time, as efficiently and effectively as possible, so that by the grace of God I can feel that I know what I am doing, and how I am going about it. Furthermore, these endless issues with church that have deeply frustrated me are deeply pertinent, in terms of the question of where I am actually going to find this man! Part of the reason I have been so angry about the churches, including lots of anger directed at myself, is because I have finally realised that I have essentially wasted so many years of my life in those places where I did not truly have anything in common with those people at all, and the considerable effort I invested into building all those “friendships” was essentially wasted. I should have walked away a long time before I did.
Anyway today I am not going to write that post (although I’ve kinda already just written it!) Rather I am going to talk about what I was thinking over yesterday, about a different kind of pursuit. OK, so I was scrolling through Facebook, and I came across an idea, posted as a meme, an idea which I have come across countless times before, and which I am sure that everyone must also have seen countless times. And it was this. “Let him be the one to pursue you!” I was instantly stabbed with a prick of guilt, because…ahem…yeah! But honestly, the truth is that I sincerely don’t know what that statement actually means. Actually no, of course I know what it means, but it just does not make sense to me. So I was thinking over it and these are the things that occurred to me.
Firstly, I do have to admit that this is a little bit self-justifying to justify ways I have acted in the past. Secondly, I am not in any way advocating that women should pursue men, although I appreciate that my actions in the past could have been construed in that way! (Scratches head, blushes! – well as much as I can reasonably blush given my skin colour!) I just don’t understand why anyone has to pursue anyone else.
OK, let’s talk about the word “pursue”. When you are pursuing something, it means that you are running as hard as you can to catch something which is simultaneously running away from you as fast as it can. And this is my big problem with this idea of “letting him be the one to pursue you.”
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