Freebook: How to Ask Someone Out

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Video Intros Subblog: How to Ask Someone Out

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20% Summary of Article
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Well here I am, supposed to be working away. My brain is completely overloaded with information and processing and at the moment I need to take a mental break. Which is why I thought that now would be a good time to write a couple of posts on “Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie”!
I was just thinking on these thoughts just a couple of hours ago as I was walking along, and I think that they present quite a light-hearted and easy topic to talk about now, considering how dense my mind feels!

So these are the thoughts then:  how to ask someone out.  Conversely, and hopefully coming right after this post – how to turn someone down.  You see I’ve been on both sides of this dynamic!

Why is this important?
I would have thought that some of these things were obvious.  However, in dealing with people it has become clear that no, apparently these things are not obvious after all!  And then there have been the times when I have made my own mistakes too…  And yet, as I think on it, perhaps it makes perfect sense that these aspects of interacting with people would of course be fraught and delicate, considering that people’s feelings are so tightly bound up in these issues…

Sensible relationships…and how biology does not help!
The more I get to know people, the more I interact with people and consider the topic of relationships, the more convinced I am that there is only one single context in which to build a relationship.  Actually, this  generalisation might come across as being a little harsh, so let me rephrase it:  in my opinion, there is one context which is overwhelmingly and far and away best for building a successful romantic relationship.  And that is the context where both parties already know one another very well and deeply care for one another before romantic aspects are introduced to their interaction.  This is what I mean when I talk of “friendship”, as I have many times on this blog.  Unfortunately the term “friendship” is perhaps not particularly useful in itself because it can also mean a much more casual interaction between people or even just seeing them regularly.  It is like how you would automatically term people that you meet every week in church as your “friends” even though you might not necessarily know a lot about them or even know them well enough to know that you do care about them, or you do find deep value in who they are.

This is why experience has taught me that deeply knowing and caring for one another is the right context for a relationship:  perhaps above all, because in your pre-romantic interaction, trust has already had a chance to build up between you…
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