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Video Intros Subblog: A Story That Needs to Be Told
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Firstly, I really want to apologise if it seems that I have been blowing my own trumpet so much on this blog. There are two aspects to this:
1. Firstly a story. My Mum and I were watching a recent interview with Donald Trump for his presidential campaign. We could not help giggling and at times gasping outright at his unbelievable bragging. Seriously, how could someone be so full of himself?!
And yet it also struck me that in constantly describing myself as outstanding, that is how I might sound. So apologies if I have been sounding like a younger, female version of Donald Trump in proclaiming my own outstandingness.
2. Secondly, more seriously, I believe the Spirit of God is truly ministering to me about humility. Just a couple of days ago I felt the Spirit of God chastising me on this subject in this gentle but firm way, and it truly struck home. One of the consequences of being so busy recently with work is that I have truly been struggling to find time to commune with God. My times of prayer have felt more like I’ve talking at God rather than truly engaging in spiritual intimacy with Him. And this was the first time in a long time that I felt the Spirit of God truly manage to cut through to me.
Once again, yet again, I would like to thank anyone who has been praying for me, if indeed there is someone out there doing that. Seriously, I honestly think that prayer is such a profound expression of love. The Bible says “Greater love has no man than this, than to lay down his life for his friends.” John 15v13 I believe that when you pray for someone, that is one way of laying down your life for them, because you are giving of the time that makes up your life to bless your friend. And labouring through prayer so that someone else should be like Jesus is once again the best gift that you could give them. So thank you, I sincerely thank you, if someone is indeed out there praying for me.
And yet, having made that big preamble, this might well be the one story on this blog where I most come across as bragging or being full of myself. This one story is important for so many reasons. It is totally foundational to the way I approach relationships. And to be utterly candid, I sincerely was outstanding – that is, I was outstanding by my own standards. Actually, one of the big things that this story teaches me is that I have very, very low tolerance of relationship pain. I am utterly, utterly sure that the “endurance” that I have been congratulating myself about which lasted not even up to two full years is the same endurance, or even just a fraction of what some people put into their relationships for even decades, without making a big song and dance about it.
This is a story that I have wanted to tell and I have thought necessary to relate ever since I started writing this blog, essentially. And yet I have truly struggled to know how to tell it in a way that is gracious, that communicates all that is necessary without relating what might not be necessary. This story concerns someone else, and I sincerely want to be fair to him. While I do sincerely maintain that my behaviour was outstanding, I also want to make it clear that absolutely nothing that happened was his fault; if it was anyone’s “fault” then it was my fault.
Why I need to tell this story: I need to tell this story for the sake of transparency. This story involves those words “the will of God” – and I was the one who uttered the words. The short story is that I told a man that I believed that it was the will of God that…
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Please stay tuned for tomorrow’s article: A Story That Needs to Be Told – PostScript
Yesterday’s article: Communication Meltdown