|Originally published 5th December 2011
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Today I am going to write a blog post that I have been meaning and wanting to write for a LONG time. It concerns this saying – I don’t know how many of you will be familiar with it: “Why should a man (or “he”) buy the cow, if he can get the milk for free?!!” This is a saying that is popular in some churches as a kind of slangy way to encourage ladies to not sleep with guys before marriage (or “give them their milk”) as this then removes the incentive to get married (“buy the cow”). This is the kind of phrase or saying that pops up for instance in Christian online forums among young cool Christians, a kind of colloquial way to express a common-sense message, without resorting to the “thees and thous” of quoting from the King James Version of the Bible, for instance.
|Now let me make it clear, yet again, that I am TOTALLY committed to sexual purity before and during marriage. I certainly hope that there won’t be any substantial period of my life after marriage, but if so, then after marriage too. If there is any boundary of what is considered “acceptable”, then I aggressively monitor my behaviour to make sure it remains 10 degrees higher, so that it never even strays near the boundary. Two weeks ago I confessed how I once crossed my own boundaries of conduct with a very provocative dance – but thankfully this did not stray into any genuinely dangerous territory. The dance in question remained very fully clothed and in a very public place with very very many people there. It was unspeakably embarrassing to apologise to the guy afterwards. I still wince whenever I think of it. But regarding girls and guys, there are many far worse things that can happen than embarrassment.
So yes, I am fully committed to sexual purity.
|So these are all things to bear in mind then when assessing the character of a potential spouse. Also, you don’t want someone naïve who believes that everyone is nice, and does not understand his own capacity for sin or know that some women might deliberately want to break up his marriage and ruin his life… And when you have found someone like this, suitable in this and every other way, then you have to just start praying and never stop; not only for him but also for yourself, and not only for yourself but also for him. Pray, and pray and pray and pray…..
None of these things guarantee (of course) that you or your husband will not commit adultery; even holy and wise people fall – look at King David in the Bible. However, the probability of a serious mistake is obviously going to be much much lower than if you have not made this determination 😉
2 Timothy 2v22: