|Originally published 4th November 2012
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When talking about potential marital partners, something that you will often hear for instance from Christian books or resources, is that “no-one is perfect”. This is true, and something that most people will surely accept, whether or not they are Christians or have any religious faith whatsoever.
And yet absolutely everyone is covered by this maxim of “no-one is perfect”. Within the understanding that “no-one is perfect”, how do you sort out potentially excellent spouses from spouses who would be a lot less appropriate for you?
|“But Tosin, I feel as if I would love to strive more after Christ, but I just need a spouse to encourage me…someone to hold my hand!” Undoubtedly, people like this exist, and we are all surely influenced by those around us. I would personally prefer to find someone who is already “on fire”, but who knows, perhaps they may have caught that fire from someone else? I guess this is where the two years thing comes in – how far have they come in the time you have known them? Do they look as if they are eager to push through, but just don’t know how to do it? And then also you will need to pray and pray (and pray and pray and fast and pray further – can’t pray too much!) as with any potential spouse.
I should also state that this is of course not an exact science – anyone who seems to be excellent and seems to be striving can also change for the worse during marriage.
|I also need to see the fruit of his supposed strivings. That is, surely some aspects of my life will clearly demonstrate that I strive after God as hard as I say I do, and that I did not start this striving yesterday. This will likely be the same for everyone. (That said, however, we have to be careful to not equate “visible good works” with “a truly Christ-centred heart”.)