|Originally published 18 March 2013
See details about the free ebook version of this post here
To prevent any confusion, let me first clarify what this post is NOT about.
|Let me start off this post with a little (true) story. I had just been thinking through the concept of this post, mentally fleshing out the idea, when I received a text from one of my sisters, saying that she and another of my sisters were getting together to have prayer sessions, and they would be praying especially for me to get a husband. As the idea expressed in this post does not portray the most positive view of husbands, and it was so fresh in my mind, my face automatically contorted itself into an expression of horror.
“A husband?! For me?! But why?! Don’t you guys love me?!”
And one of the sisters in question also happens to be my AuntyNaija sister – seriously, you’d think that she’d know better!
|At the moment, I am my own boss in all of these areas. I write for my own blogs, I run my own businesses. Because of this, I am not currently aware of any glass ceiling that could curtail my achievement in any of these. I can literally go as far as I want to go, as far as I am prepared to work. If this was not true in any other regard, it is definitely true with God. I and anyone else in the world, can go as deep with God as we like. God does not impose any limits on how deeply we can know Him, or how hard we can pray, how passionately we can pursue the Bible, or how much His power can resonate through our lives. In fact, God actually encourages us to pursue Him. The Bible teaches that we should be greedy for God! Like here in Luke 10v27|
|In fact, I think it works in a very similar way to the way I think infatuation works, in that it is not based on reality, but rather on what is in your heart, except that infatuation obviously creates positive expectations. Now a “glass ceiling” in the conventional sense occurs when there is a group of people who have matching or similar negative prejudices against you in their hearts. It is like the prejudice within each heart joins up with that in the heart next to it, and together the prejudices in each heart join to form the glass ceiling, unseen but very real, and these people stop you from getting to a position that it is within their level to assign. Once again, these rules are often unwritten, of course, but you might find, as I have done, that although no-one ever says anything, some avenues remain stubbornly closed to you – as long as they are controlled by other people.|
|I believe that this is exactly the kind of thing that might happen in a marriage, that a man might genuinely not realise before marriage that he is capable of acting this way. Until he does. And then he does again. And then it keeps happening until it becomes a habit that he is either unable or unwilling to break out of. It is for this reason that I believe that it is better to look for a spouse who is desperately striving after God and Christlike character, than even someone who is clearly sincere, or has already attained excellent character but is not striving, as someone who is striving after God will keep moving forward and becoming better and better, but someone who is not striving will at best remain at the same place, but in all likelihood will actually move backwards before your very disappointed eyes.|
|Jesus teaches us that if we want to be the leader, then we have to be the servant. Matthew 20v26. Remember that some women provided for Jesus Himself from their financial resources. And yet there was no question as to who was the leader. And there are no signs that Jesus let His identity be threatened by this. I think that it is so important for us Christians bringing up our sons to teach them correctly. This is because the society that surrounds them will be doing its best to teach them opposite values, that “male leadership” is about being the boss, or visibly being “the more successful”.|
|I have no desire to spend the rest of my life wrestling with someone else’s ego. That is, marriage involves big sacrifices anyway – a few of which I have discussed in my previous post.
How can a supposed Christian not know this: that you are the one supposed to wrestle with your own ego, defeat it, and keep it defeated daily – rather than leave that battle to your poor wife?! in fact the Bible talks not about “defeating” your ego, but rather killing it. Jesus says: “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.” Matthew 16v24 Remember that the cross is an instrument of execution, it is not for decoration! What is supposed to die on that cross is our sinful nature, including our prideful ego. As Christians we also have to live in readiness of actually literally dying for the Gospel. Additionally the Apostle Paul says that everyone who belongs to Christ has crucified the flesh: Galatians 5v24. And yet in my experience, so many “Christians” have shown me ugly ego that I can only conclude that no-one apparently knows this!